Are you down and out because there's not a message/image-board that caters to your extremely specific needs? Blown away by the frantic pace of two posts per month??? Then it's time to start your own *chan!

Here's what you'll need:

  • Some kind of theme (optional; see also iichan)
  • Users (optional; see also 4-ch)
  • Hosting (optional; see also the early history of 4chan)
  • …and finally, SOFTWARE (apparently the one required component)

Given the surprisingly slim number of (active) Western 2ch-style boards in the world, there are quite a few options available to choose from. I'll get back to why each and every one of them suck ass soon!

Seriously though, I do not make intelligent decisions! Tell me more!

So you really think you can do better than 4chan? Or really, even 4-ch…? Well, you're an idiot.

This may seem entirely unrelated because no-doubt your concept is truly unique but I'm going to talk about Craigslist briefly. If you go on craigslist you'll find any number of desperate people looking for “professionals” in the job listings. You see, these people are all usually long-ago laid-off, who have decided to ride this web thing to fame and fortune. Every single one of them thinks they can out-compete Facebook1). You have to admit it's a little tempting. If this were ten years ago and you came told me the business plan: people will post their full names with locations, incriminating evidence of their sexual escapades, run virtual online farms, and somehow this magical combination will generate billions of dollars, I would have laughed so hard I would have pissed myself…

Rather than going into the traditional desperate lines of work (gambling, alcoholism), these poor people are all convinced that they can take on the world. I blame antidepressants for this trend, personally. Their plan always follows a formula: it will be like Facebook for x. What is x? It's usually the worst possible niche group. Rodeo clowns, for instance. Yes, like Facebook for rodeo clowns. Never mind that there's probably already a group for rodeo clowns on the real thing, surely they'll want to use this new and improved site because it's made just for them. What's so different about it? Buzzwords!

And of course, it looks exactly like Facebook to the point in infringing on trademarks. Every time. Sometimes they're just screenshots of Facebook cleverly edited in mspaint. Oh, you can tell it's different because this part is brown and the huge text in Times New Roman right over Facebook is super-classy. Oh, they don't have any software written or anything. The new CEO of RodeoConnect(TM)(R)(C) isn't in charge of that. That's what the poor equally desperate people who showed up expecting an actual paying job are here to do. Oh, I can't pay you much now but once this gets off the ground…

It won't get off the ground. It never will. Don't get me wrong. These people are hilarious and I love them dearly for all the wrong reasons (sometimes they're desperate to sell cameras to raise “capital”). At the very least, they're aiming in the right direction though. Sure they're aiming a bow and arrow at a battleship, but Facebook makes money, right?

4chan doesn't make money. Why would you want to start another one??

I'm just going to leave you with that thought… I mean I'm sure you're super in to your “community” or “fet1sh” (more likely), but seriously, it can't be a good idea.2)

1) If you're reading this after 2012 and thinking to yourself, of course I can out-compete that cybersquatter search engine, please remember that this was written in 2011 and there used to be something else there!
2) “bfo” contributed to this article!
scripts.txt · Last modified: 2016/04/27 10:30 by admin0037
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